Set priorities.  List all the things you want to accomplish.  Cross out unnecessary activities.

Refuse to suffer.

Do unpleasant tasks as quickly and painlessly as possible, then reward yourself.

Keep for yourself the activities you enjoy, even if they aren’t essential or could be done by others.  You need them.  They nurture you.

What are your priorities?  Please share your comments below.

Make positive contact with others. At parties, make sure you have a good conversation with several people.  If parties aren’t your bag, make contact in some other situation (a neglected neighbor? with a religious group?)

If your friend or family list is too short, look around for others in the same boat.  Try volunteering at Meals on Wheels or the crisis shelter.  Someone in your community needs your love.  Reach out to others – for both of your sakes.

How are you reaching out during the holidays?  What’s your style?  Please comment below.

Select celebration patterns with care. Remember your past and bring it into the present.  Your “treasure box of memories” will contain pain as well as warmth and joy and it offers you a personalized source of depth and richness.

Repeat a tradition you’ve always kept.

Ask others about their rituals, pick one that’s new for you, and try it out.

Share your traditions with us in the comment box below.

Give yourself permission to feel as you do.  Listen to yourself.  Feel what you feel, not what you “think you are supposed to feel,” or “wish you felt.”  When you feel down, feel down.  It won’t last forever.  When you feel excited, go ahead and enjoy it.

Trying to manipulate your feelings or act contrary to them will distance you from yourself.

How do you handle this one?  Please share your comment with us.

Ask for what you want. Don’t hint.  Don’t wait for someone to read your mind.  Don’t expect others to guess what will satisfy you.

Speak up.  If you’re lonely, ask someone to share your celebration – or ask to share in someone else’s.  If you love surprises, let people know.  If you need time alone in the midst of togetherness, say so.

If you can’t get what you want, want what you get, it’s much more satisfying than wishing for the impossible.

Please share what you want with us by making a comment.